It’s a classic conflict. You find yourself in a place you love; a place that has embraced you and made you feel at home. The people you have met quickly found places in your heart and become family. This place is truly special and you know it, and you could stay in this place forever and be happy, but there’s something within you that wants more. In my case, it’s about college. I chose my current school because I knew it was full of incredible people, and I knew I would feel incredibly comfortable on campus. I sacrificed the field I was interested in studying in order to have an easier transition and because I was scared of string [sic] from what i [sic] knew, but now that I am here, I realize that I have an internal dilemma I am dealing with. Do I want to be comfortable and happy now, or do I want to transfer and study what I actually want to study.
I guess the umbrella question I’m asking is: how do you decide whether to stay comfortable or move on and strive higher. And how do [sic] deal with cutting ties with all you loved about where you were?
Conflicted in Connecticut
Dear Conflicted in Connecticut,
Thank you for your thoughtful question! Making a decision like this isn’t easy, so I applaud you for taking the first step in being honest with yourself. It takes a mature person to be able to look in the mirror and realize you need to make some changes in order to be happy and successful. While you may have to sacrifice some things in order to make these changes, you will benefit greatly in the end. The funny thing is I’m sure you already know this. You know that you want more, and the truth is, you deserve more and you deserve to be both. Life is not about being either comfortable and happy OR fulfilled and accomplished elsewhere. Life is about being happy and accomplished, all of which oftentimes requires taking some risks. Yes, transitioning from one school to another may be challenging, preparing for coursework may be difficult, and forming new friendships may require more work, but if you’re doing what you love, then you’re reaping the greatest reward!
If you feel it in your heart, feel it pulling you, stirring within you, making you happy, and making you want more, then do that because finding something you love is rare. Let it drive you. Let it move you. Harness it. Cultivate it because when you find something you enjoy doing, you’ll never have to work a day in your life (cliché, I know, but true). And the people who matter, I mean truly matter, they’ll understand. They will support you, believe in you, and encourage you to follow your passions. Choosing to leave one place doesn’t mean you have to leave the people you’ve befriended behind. You’ll carry them with you wherever you go, you’ll keep in touch, and, believe it or not, you’ll form new friendships. So take a leap, follow your dream, and step outside of your comfort zone. You never know what’s waiting on the other side.