Happy Thursday, friends! Apologies for the late post, but I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say without being long-winded. That was a mountain I didn’t quite conquer, so bear with me. I don’t know much, but what I do know now is that for the first time in my entire adult life, I can honestly say that I feel happy, calm, and centered. I’ve always been the type of person who looks ahead in life and believes that if I have the next best thing or what my heart desires, then I can be happy and live the perfect life. The problem with this thinking, however, is that it means my happiness is solely dependent on the unforeseeable future and on what was not and could not be guaranteed. If I couldn’t guarantee achieving the next best thing, then I couldn’t be happy. Living in the future felt like a constant wheel I just couldn’t get off of–a state of mind I couldn’t escape. It was also an unproductive and unhealthy place to be. I can only imagine what I’ve missed out on because I was too afraid to be still and live in the moment. If only I knew early on how easy it could be to start over. I know it’s not this easy for others, but all it took for me was a conversation with a new friend, a new moon, setting new intentions, and intentionally practicing daily meditation to completely change my mindset for the better and recognize that being present is the best present of all. I hope this is a start for you.
This past Sunday was a new moon, and it was a pretty big deal for me because it came at a time when I needed a fresh start and new beginning the most. If you didn’t know this before, I’m about to start a major new and exciting chapter in my life, and I want to enter it with peace and clarity. The thing is, I wasn’t exactly sure how to go about establishing such a thing. I also wasn’t quite sure what I wanted this new chapter to look like. And then we entered a literal new phase in the moon. This wouldn’t usually matter to me except that this particular new moon is a significant and powerful period as it’s a time to not only reset, reflect, and re-align ourselves with our deepest desires but also a time to focus and listen to our hearts. So, I used this moment to do just that. I removed all distractions, lit candles and incense to help set the mood, and thought deeply and carefully about what I wanted to cultivate in this new phase and last half of the year. I used a meditation app to help me focus, better center myself with my wants and needs, and reconnect my mind and soul. I then took pen to paper, made a detailed list of my intentions, took a photo of them, and set them on fire as a way to physically send my desires into the world. I swear, watching that paper turn to ash was so powerful and empowering. It felt like dead-weight had been let go and that I was now free.
While it’s only been a few days, I have already felt a noticeable difference in the way I see and approach life. I even continue to meditate each morning as soon as I wake! Living in the moment has already reduced so much anxiety. Constantly thinking about the future left me worried, stressed out, exhausted and concerned about what was to come, which left little space for appreciating what already was. I didn’t start living until I let go, and now I feel such a beautiful relief and sense of calm that I don’t think I ever truly experienced before.
I used to put so much pressure on my experiences with people and set unrealistic expectations that I quite regularly caused their demise. Of course, the aftermath was feeling tightness in my chest, fast-paced breathing, and an unbearable weight on my shoulders. There’s now a lightness in how I approach life and relationships. I think part of it has to do with believing that people are in our lives for a reason and a season, and the other part is just having faith, and when you have faith, there’s no room for fear.
I’m not saying I don’t think about tomorrow, but it excites me in a way that it didn’t before. Instead of worrying or wondering what’s to come, I’m excited for them to be revealed when it’s time. Call it optimism or naivete. I’ll call it letting go and being open and ready to receive what is meant for me!